There are lots of reasons as to why we connect with other people  -  I hope some of those reasons would include:

1. Likeminded – birds of a feather and all that
2. Not likeminded – hearing the other side of the story is always good
3. You are in a position to enable the individual
4. There is a mutual benefit between the two of you – a win win situation
5. You’re a student – you want to learn
6. They’re cute… what? Don’t tell me this doesn’t factor in

When we connect with other people – a few things can happen:

1. It’s completely one-sided, or your professional advances go unacknowledged – it happens… get over it.
2. Reciprocity – everyone is winning.
3. You are learning a ridiculous amount from the opposing team
4. You are stunned to learn how bloody annoying or juvenile that person actually is.

Before you purge a connection for whatever reason, take a minute to consider:

1. Baby and bath water. Sometimes overlooking the less favourable characteristics isn’t such a bad thing.
2. The old saying about if you really want to know someone, move in with them… this space is close and personal. A lot of good people are just that, good – not perfect. There are times when embracing the flaws is more noble, even smarter, than not.
3. The person is connected to other people who probably need to know who you are. After all sometimes it really is not what you know… but who!

I’m finding so much value by doing a few simple things:

• Cut people in this space a bit of slack.
• Be slower to judge.
• Recognize that overlooking a flaw does not equal you being a door mat.

Networking is an art – one on par to drawing stick man and gluing glitter –  but an art all the same that uses a basic formula. It also happens to be one of two most valuable and must have skills you need in work and life.

If there is one thing I know, it is networking. Connecting with great minds and not so great, is what I do. Networking really is an art. Perfecting it however, is easy. Using it is ridiculously powerful.

I have to admit, I am absolutely floored by people who ask me why they should network, or suggest they’re not really sure it’s worth their time and effort. My inside voice screams: Are you fugging kidding me? My outside voice asks: Really, why do you think that? Their answers are valid. They simply do not understand the value of networking.

What is networking?

Connecting with another individual through the exchange of basic information with the intention to find a mutually beneficial opportunity

How do you network exactly?

It starts with your attitude. Successful people absolutely get that you must first give before you receive. Always be:

• The first to smile.
• The first to extend a handshake.
• The first to start the conversation with a question about the other person.
• The first to dismiss a negative reception. It happens… but it’s their problem, not yours.

What’s the networking formula?

It’s definitely more of a formula than a natural born ability.  It is not rocket science. It does need practice.  Here’s the magic:

1. Who are you?
2. What are your prepared to share?
3. What do you need?

The who are you question: answer it in 30 seconds. This means you will need a paper and pen, a few scribbled sentences and finally a rehearsed 30 second answer preferably vetted by a close friend.

What are you prepared to share question: This is hardly ever money. This could be introductions to people in your network within a specific industry. Excess of some product or service you can share, information sharing, or an hour of your time to bounce a few ideas around.

What do you need: Be specific. Consider you may be explaining a need to a room full of people who have no idea what your industry is about. Give them examples of job titles of people you’re looking to connect with, examples of companies, or buzz words. And regardless of whether you have an immediate need to fill for yourself, chances are you almost always know someone who needs to know someone you just met. Not so much? … Well, I’m willing to bet money that this person that is likely not an ideal fit for you on the surface, they probably know three people who all need to know you.

Networking works when there is a win win approach at the center of it all. It amazes me how so many people feel it’s ok to tap and pillage their network several times over. It’s definitely not ok. Nor will it get you near as far as a win win approach will.

The people in my network all share the same attitude, and when I introduce people to my network, I make a point of reinforcing the shared attitude. I go so far as to say, “I’m happy to introduce you to <PERSON> but please give some thought in advance as to what you can do for them.” It has to be balanced and mutually beneficial. Always.

I love connecting with likeminded people. If you feel so inclined, reach out and let me know who you are, what you’re prepared to share and what you need then let’s see where it goes.

To fully appreciate the value and opportunity networking affords, check out @MarkWSchaefer”s post on his learnings from Carnegie and how it they can make you a start at work!

I surveyed people who appear happy in life. I asked them two questions:

1. What books were instrumental in getting you where you are today?

2. If you could go back and talk to yourself when you were 20yrs old, what would you say?

The unedited answers to these questions are below for your reference.

Books:

Harmonic Wealth

The 4 hour work week (www.yourmaninindia.com)

Anything from Wayne Dyer
Les Brown
Brian Tracy
Think and Grow Rich
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Sugar Busters
A New Earth
The Science of Mind
The Bible (Mainly Old Testament)
Anything from Spong

Osho
The Prophet
Missed Fortune 101
Many of the for Dummies Series
Johnathon Seagull
Busting Loose from the Money Game
Secrets of the Millionaire Mind
The life of Pi

He’s just not that into you.

Advice:

Never doubt yourself

Don’t try to do it all yourself

Find some focus and give that everything you’ve got  

Sell your strengths… but buy your weaknesses.

Be you. Just you.

Ask lots of questions.

Seth Godin says small is the new big… I wonder if flat is the new order of business? I do believe we are in the midst of a recession unlike any seen before… including the Great One probably in part to globalization, ever evolving technology and a society that has never been more fiscally abusive than as of late.

If you take a few steps back and observe what’s going on from the 50,000ft view… we are most definitely seeing a shift from the world of Macro evverything to individual micro worlds connected to another person’s micro world connected to …

Where is this leading us? What impact will this sort of mass sharing have on us? On our business? Our job search? Our purchase decisions? I believe Seth is right… small is very much the new big. Is the tall and robust capitalistic world we live in  getting flatter? If our consumers are online more often than note talking to their connections within their micro world about what’s great and what isnt… then how does one influence that individual so that the referral of a brand given to their peer is not only positive, but one that insinuates stupidity if not used in place of the others? Before – Company – Ad Agency – Mass Media – Living Rooms – Consumer… Hmmm! This doesn’t work anymore.

We are networking within our micro worlds to get work, drive business, increase sales, get referrals, get reviews on products, trips and more. We are starting to dabble more with strategic alliances; I form a mutually beneficial relationship with you to further both of our needs.  

I do believe every cloud has a silver lining… I wonder what this recession’s silver lining will be… and will it’s silver lining only be silver to a few … while being a knife to others? But that’s where evolution comes in… and smart marketers follow and evolve with their consumers – right?

What comes to mind when you hear the word – Networking? I have a very good friend who literally is the Queen of Networking. We were discussing the term earlier today and some interesting assessments were made… what do you think?

By the way, my good friend is Donna Messer – check out her clip here. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=vQmVxLFtFn0